by Cie Simurro- Thunderbird Starwoman

HOW DO WE HANDLE PAIN WHEN WE’RE HURTING?________________________________________________________________________

For most, the natural tendency when we’re hurting is to curl up in a ball alone, to nurse our physical or emotional wounds. Even animals have the tendency to do this, though because they do not have resistance, they will come out of it more easily and quickly, than we humans tend to do.

What would happen if we reached out to those closest to us when we find ourselves in the midst of an ordeal, or when our hearts are rent with grief? When asked, few will turn away from a seeker of comfort and understanding.

What would the world look like – act like – if instead of stuffing pain way down, people let it pass through – or worked through it in community or within ceremony? What if we cried and screamed and kicked our heels when anger or emotional pain strikes? I’ve found that you can’t scream for longer than a few seconds (though it feels like, if we let ourselves do that, it would never end). Some might want to accompany themselves with a drum, or a pot or pan, banging on it. Another practice that gets the gunk out of our cells is picking up a branch, and beating down on the earth with it (don’t hurt your hands). Our first instinct is not to do that to Mother Earth, but in fact, she takes all our “stuff” and uses it for fertilizer to grow beautiful things – our tears, saliva, snot, anger, fear …. all fertilizer!

Would so many acts of violence and terror be acted out from unexpressed pain? Would the pain from unhealed experiences in childhood and adolescence need to be played out over and over, and foisted onto other people, other races, other religions, other nations?

People who love themselves don’t strike out at others when they’re in pain. They know that we’re all part of a greater whole, and that in this interdependent world, everyone’s actions affect everything else on some level, whether it be energetic or physical … and the energetic always eventually becomes physical. Everything starts with energy, even if it’s an idea that eventually takes on physical form.

Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in our pain that we congeal into self-contained separation. We can’t see the beauty around us that would help us climb out of our pain. Nature is always willing to provide an opportunity for us to restore ourselves. We just have to open to her beauty, right order, and resilience. If we can let the colors, energy, magnificence, and healing in, Nature will heal us. Then in turn, we heal Nature. This past week, my friend and I were walking our dogs by a stream in the woods. Suddenly, I heard a loud, hard slap on the water. I knew immediately, it was a beaver. Over and over, the young beaver slapped its tail to express its displeasure that we were so close to its home in the bank of the stream. I spoke gently to it, and sang softly, even as I made sure that my dog, Ebbie and her friend, Forest did not go in the water. To my delighted surprise, our beaver friend got the message and very soon, just swam around, curious about us, but no longer frantic or afraid. Greatly pleased, we soon left him in peace.

When we’re in pain, we forget that we are love; that everything around us is also made of this love, and that we are not separate from the love that created us.

Often, when we are hurting, we resonate with the pain of others, and the pain of the world. The circles of the hell we are in, bounce off other circles of pain. In fact, the more open and receptive we are, the more we sometimes feel others’ pain. This is a good time in the history of the world to practice the ancient Polynesian art of Ho’oponopono. Though there is much more to it, practicing four simple sentences creates an aura of forgiveness. The basis of Ho’oponopono is that we heal others by healing ourselves. Instead of hating, or passing pain on, let us direct forgiveness to everyone – from those who have slighted us, to those perpetrating unspeakable atrocities. After all, doing things the other way has never changed a thing, has it? You may want to research  Ho’oponopono more, but the 4 sentences are: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.

The most important thing to do during difficulty is to remember to love ourselves through it: suspend judgment – suspend blaming – suspend making decisions – till it passes. Tenderness and rest are not only for others, but for ourselves as well. Life is truly synchronous. If we want to be loved, we have to love what we already are, and what we have in our lives. Then we attract more good things. When we are in a state of pain, it’s a good time to send a voice or ask Love, how better to understand our lives and our purpose. If we can do that, what we learn while we are grieving, reorganizing, and waiting for answers will not only help us, but what we learn can be used to help others. When we see others suffering, we will look at them with eyes of compassion. We KNOW what they are going through. We want only to help and comfort.

This is how we become true human beings.

In loving kinship,

Cie Simurro- Thunderbird Starwoman